It seems that with all of the talk about homeland security, the biggest hole is STILL our borders with BOTH Mexico and Canada. At this point, I’m not sure which country’s policy I fear most.

Let’s start with Canada. We all know where and how the 9/11 hijackers got into this country, through Canada. If you think WE have an open door policy, you should see THEIRS. Canada’s visa and entry program is so lax, that virtually anyone can walk right through. This has made it ideal for terrorists and most Asian illegals (primarily from China) to slip into this country from border cities such as Vancouver, which hosts one of the largest Chinese populations outside of China itself. So, from our friends to the North, we get our terrorists, and Chinese illegals (most of who are working for the Triads to pay off their “passage” fees, which can be as high as $30,000).

Then we have our “good buddies” to the South. While a small percentage of Hispanic illegals are from countries “other than Mexico” (they lump all other South Americans, Europeans, Asians, Africans, and Middle Easterners into a group they call “OTMs” or “Other Than Mexican”) our biggest problem is clearly Mexico.

Why?

Because we previously accepted Vicente Fox’s pledge that he was going to crack down, and stop the flow. Because we continue to accept the new President Calderon’s pledge to do the same thing. This is the same hollow promise that every Mexican leader has made for years with the same results, more illegals. If we instituted the SAME border practices that Mexico does at THEIR southern border with Guatemala (including shooting illegals crossing THEIR border, or prison under VERY NASTY conditions FAR WORSE than “GITMO”), we would be pilloried by the world, every human rights organization and the left wing press. Mexico, however, gets a pass from all of them?

Why?

Because illegals send BILLIONS of dollars BACK to Mexico to help those left behind. It is public knowledge that Mexico’s four leading export products to the US are oil, cocaine, marijuana, and illegals. THEY know it, and WE know it. Landowners in the Border States have had to resort to protecting their property with guns, and our Border Control agents are in many cases out gunned by either the coyotes (illegal immigrant smugglers) or drug runners. Plus there are the environmentalist wackos, who are complaining the desert is being destroyed by the illegals dumping their trash, and burning “endangered” weeds to keep warm during their journey.

Why?

Because ALL of our elected officials practically wet themselves when talk about FINALLY enforcing EXISTING Immigration Laws surfaces, lest we offend the ever increasingly important Hispanic vote. And why is the Hispanic voting bloc becoming more important? Because of the illegals! Circular reasoning anyone?

Originally, the Bush plan was to permit “guest workers” to come back and forth without hassle for three years to fill jobs we are too proud to do any longer, AND take a “Government savings account” (basically made up of what they would have been paying in Social Security taxes if they were legal) back to Mexico at the end of the three years. President Bush was counting on the hope that the amounts accumulated in their accounts would be large enough to dissuade them from coming back, by giving them a “grub stake” to start their own businesses there. No amnesty and they must return to Mexico at the end of the 3 years, with possibly ONE three year extension. FAT CHANCE! But at least it was a start in the right direction, because NOTHING we are currently doing is working. We do have to give President Bush credit here for “thinking out of the box”.

The only real benefit that I can see from the Bush plan is that at least we will know who is coming in. We get them “in the system”, so we can do criminal background checks, and we have a chance to exert a little more pressure on Mexico. If he balks, we do a mass pick up, send them home to Mexico, and we keep their “savings accounts”.

But that “sensible” plan (if you can call ANYTHING other than FULL ENFORCEMENT of the BORDER and EXISTING immigration laws sensible) MORPHED into the great big pile of crap that became the Senate Immigration Bill, which at least the House refused to acknowledge. It was so far apart from the House version that they would not even conference about it. Justifiably so! The Senate version gave ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS rights that even US BORN CITIZENS do not enjoy, such as only having to pay taxes for 3 out of the 5 years they have been here ILLEGALLY, as if you could REALLY figure out what that amount would even be! I’m sure all reading this (except the ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS in the audience laughing their tails off!) would like the chance to only have to pay 3 years of taxes out of the last five, and I’ve been here LEGALLY my whole life! Born in the SAME hospital that John Kerry was! What a terrible thought!

That is just ONE of the MANY ridiculous provisions that got put in the Senate version. But since Ted Kennedy and John McCain were the main sponsors/authors (the human scotch bottle, and a publicity seeking nut, both IDIOTS!) of the bill, who could expect anything better? What kind of asinine bill is that? If we were going to go down that path, I would rather see a flat “Illegal Immigrant” FINE (that is what you DO to LAWBREAKERS other than jail, you FINE THEM!) of $15,000 PER PERSON (children included!) which only represents $3,000 per year (assuming the current 5 year cutoff would be maintained). But that would make too much sense! Our elected representatives in the Senate are either totally IGNORANT about the OVERWHELMING “will of the people” in this matter, or are simply overwhelmingly ignorant. Me personally? I choose the latter.

What We Should REALLY Do (but don’t have the guts to)

First, we make a big announcement. ALL illegals have 90 days to register for the “Guest Worker Program”.

Those who can prove they have a job can stay, provided that they have not committed any crimes here (many areas in the US routinely release illegal criminals right back into society instead of turning them over to Immigration for deportation), but their “3 year clock” starts the day they register. For the criminals, they get deported IMMEDIATELY (but who are we kidding, the criminals aren’t going to register anyway). We contract out the work to VISA or American Express, who have NO PROBLEM tracking us down anywhere in the WORLD, rather than create a new government (by definition, worthless) run bureaucracy at TWICE the cost, and HALF the efficiency.

That is what government “unions” have brought us who STRONGLY lobby for the Democrats’ PRIME DIRECTIVE-HIGHER TAXES and MORE BUREAUCRACY! If you think Republicans spend money they do not have like drunken sailors, the Democrats do it like drunken sailors on STEROIDS!

Second, we make a BIGGER announcement that from this day forward, all illegals identified who have NOT registered, once found, WILL BE DEPORTED OR WORSE, after being fingerprinted, and iris scanned for posterity. If we make our allies coming into the US submit to this now, we can certainly demand it from the illegals. I would also throw in a DNA sample for good measure! The penalties could be as follows.

The first offense is simple deportation. NOT RELEASE, DEPORTATION!

The second offense is also deportation, AFTER serving 60 days of “community service” like cleaning up the desert they trashed, or building new border fences, or if “inland”, community restoration projects, building low cost housing, etc. The second deportation should also mean that they can NEVER become US citizens, under ANY circumstances.

The third offense is 6 months incarceration in a “refugee camp” (wearing pink jumpsuits like the Maricopa County, AZ Sheriff makes his detainees wear), AND 6 months “community service”, AND deportation. That is when we can stop being NICE. Even baseball has the “three strikes” rule. There are MILLIONS of acres of Federal land in Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, and Utah. Putting the offenders in tents should be not only more cost efficient than “hard structures”, but the number of them can be adjusted upward easily. If this isn’t as comfortable for the illegals as what they have at home maybe they will STAY HOME!

The fourth offense is 2 years incarceration, AND 2 years HARD LABOR (maybe thinning the forests of underbrush and cutting in fire trails, or reclaiming landfills, or Super Fund/Katrina site cleanup, etc.), AND, of course the ever popular deportation. After that, I don’t think there would be a fifth attempt.

But if there IS, does 10 years HARD LABOR in ALASKA have any takers? If the Alaskans want their pork barrel “Bridges to Nowhere” built, we can “kill two birds with one stone”, and MUCH more cost effectively. Everybody wins, except the illegals who, after 5 violations, DESERVE to spend some “not so quality time in caribou country”.

This plan is non-discriminatory, and it should be the same for ALL illegals, REGARDLESS of nationality (even European and Canadian!), so we can’t be accused of only “abusing” Hispanics, Asians, or Middle Easterners which comes with the territory when you are trying to protect America.

It is interesting to note that LEGAL Hispanic immigrants, who I and MOST Americans as well are COMPLETELY IN FAVOR of, overwhelmingly want illegal immigration stopped ALSO. Many of them spent over a DECADE waiting to come into the US legally, and RESENT those who “cut to the front of the line” and get REWARDED for it! The legal immigrants are also being “lumped in” with the illegals, and they don’t like it. I can’t say I blame them.

Third, we make the BIGGEST announcement of all. ALL COSTS INCURRED BY THE UNITED STATES AS A RESULT OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION WILL BE REIMBURSED BY THE ILLEGALS’ COUNTRY OF ORIGIN.

A little while ago, Canyon County, Idaho Commissioner Robert Vasquez (note HE is HISPANIC!) mailed a bill for almost $2 million dollars to the closest Mexican consulate, located in Salt Lake City. He says the county is due more than $1.4 million for jailing and more than $575,000 for doctoring foreign lawbreakers over past two years. IS THAT GREAT OR WHAT?

Congress should pass this as law IMMEDIATELY.

If a little county in IDAHO is spending a million a year for THEIR illegal immigrants, think what Los Angeles County is spending? Any foreign aid to offending countries could be reduced by the amount we incur to take care of their illegals for them. That’s fair, isn’t it? We are probably using the money to aid their citizens here better than they are in their home country anyway. They typically use theirs to line their OWN pockets and not pass it along to their populace. If they don’t get aid, they get a bill, or we can levy an “ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT SURCHARGE” instead, on all import shipments coming from the offending country, or fail to approve IMF grants and loans, or WHATEVER! Let’s hit ‘em in THEIR pocketbook, as they have ours.

Or, in Mexico’s case, how about UNLIMITED $20.00 per barrel oil? No more OIL CRISIS, and no need to tap ANWR. I bet the “good ole” President Calderon of Mexico would LOVE that option. But he would certainly take us seriously for the first time. I bet he would be falling all over himself to seal up the border, from HIS side! If he spent the amount of money it would COST him on his own people in Mexico, the standard of living THERE would rise to the point where the Mexicans will stay in Mexico and build their OWN country and future instead of depressing wages of skilled Americans (carpenters, plumbers, landscapers, electricians, etc.).

The Democrats complain that even in this time of remarkable prosperity in the US that wages are not keeping up and only the wealthy are getting more wealthy. The REASON for that is the flood of ILLEGALS filling both unskilled (where OUR young learn a trade) or skilled labor positions for lower wages. They do this because at even the lower wage it is FAR MORE than they could earn at home, and their EMPLOYERS benefit from being able to charge the same, but because they no longer have the “income tax” burden, make a BIGGER PROFIT at YOUR EXPENSE! And we do NOTHING because we do not want to be considered “racist” by unfairly singling out a group that is primarily Hispanic (or Middle Eastern TERRORISTS with Venezuelan passports passing themselves off as Hispanic). What a crock of crap!

Cities may balk, saying, “We don’t have the jail space, etc.” But I bet each city has a broken down warehouse, or school no longer being used. That’s the first project, make the illegals fix and secure THEIR space first (the “Dirty Dozen” approach, a great educational movie for politicians). Then, give ‘em a sleeping bag or cot, a couple of “PortaPottys”, and a box breakfast, lunch and dinner. Give them a community radio (not TV, this isn’t SUPPOSED to be “Club Med”), and some cards, books, and magazines donated by the citizenry. That’s it.

Then, outsource the transportation so they can get to their “projects”, catering and security (all from bonded, Immigration Service approved contractors), so it does not take away from normal law enforcement, and THERE YOU GO!

Instant “community service”, for MUCH less than the current expense incurred for doing it the way we are now (BADLY!), and the creation of a new “INDUSTRY”, illegal immigration services with THOUSANDS of new jobs for CITIZENS (to take care of the MILLIONS of illegals)!

For those “bleeding heart Liberals” out there hollering the typical “cruel and unusual”, they should remember that even these minimal conditions are probably BETTER than what the illegals will have when they get “home”. They should also remember that this is for SECOND offenders! We just deported them the first time, so they KNEW what they were getting into when we caught them a second time, and the third time, etc.

Also, I don’t think our friend Calderon will want to go with the “Five Star Plan”, since HE will be footing the BILL! For those “progressive” cities who refuse to turn in their illegals, NO REIMBURSEMENT. Do I hear the faint sounds of public outcry from the oppressed vast “non-progressive majority” over that one, calling for their mayors to “get with the program” or we may decide to have a tax revolt?

As for Canada, since their entry policy is so lax, and is used as a “Pass Through” into the US, we should make them foot the bill for ALL those illegals, regardless of the original country they came from, or “take it out in trade”. Cheap drugs anyone? Let CANADA try to collect it back from CHINA, and everywhere else that they allow their immigrants to pass through from on their way to the US! Think that Canada might “reconsider” THEIR lax immigration policies too?

Plus, we will have made it harder for illegals to get in, thanks to our “Community Service Border Enhancement Program”, the CSBEP (SIZZ-BEP). Ain’t THAT catchy? Even sounds better than NAFTA.

If we don’t stop this horde of illegals flooding our country, sucking up our public resources for health care, law enforcement, and education soon, our country will no longer be ours, and you can blame the Democrats and a few RINO’s (Republicans In Name Only) for the mess that we will be passing along to our children.

I LOVE the Hispanic people and their wondrous heritage. My business partner is Hispanic-African American. I have MANY fantastic Hispanic friends, and I have visited Mexico often. All I ask is that they come here according to the rules! That’s not being racist, just being fair to all OUR citizens.